Speak from the heart - with an exercise part

What does your heart say

During a vacation I hiked down at the holiday destination into a gorge. The gorge was deep and the path continuously led along the edge of the rock. As I got down, I could see exactly how this rock wall was "layered" - almost like a cake.

Probably the river has been digging through the rock down there for an extremely long time - a foot -high strip made of red or gray stone indicates an erosion through the water over millions of years.

Think of water

While I looked at the rock wall while walking, almost smoothly polished by the long erosion period and cut it like with a sharp knife, I thought of water - so soft and gentle - as it gradually cuts through the toughest stone to reveal great beauty. Strangely, I thought to myself, sometimes what appears to be the weakest is actually the strongest.

In the same way, speaking from the heart can appear so vulnerable and yet it is the strongest step of everyone. Naming the truth - especially if it is a separate experience that is not refutable - with simplicity and sincerity and without argument or blame, has great moral strength. You can see the effects on small and large ones.

For example, when a child tells his parents: "I feel bad when you argue", right down to the experiences and profound effects when people have experienced shocking.

As if it could go beyond the relationship

I recently had a man as a client, whose marriage suffered from a kind of "load", as it is often caused by unspoken. Everything that is discussed is normal everyday stuff - such as the desire that the woman deals less irritably with the children and would be more loving with him - but it was immediately felt that there was a kind of fear of standing behind it, what could actually hunt down completely.

I think when people communicate in a warm way, it is dignified and convincing, and it usually creates support and openness from the other.

How can you achieve this?

Search for one or more opportunities to speak from your heart. Choose a topic, a person and a moment that would be well suited for it.

Exercise part

Before you start:

Earth you with good intentions. Be ready to discover the truth and express whatever it is. Earth of wanting to help yourself and the other.

Get a fundamental feeling for what you want to say. Concentrate on your experience: on thoughts, feelings, body sensations, wishes, memories, pictures run like a dynamic flow through your consciousness.

It is certainly more difficult to argue purely with experience than to get into a dispute over situations, events, or the past.

Be confident

Trust your sincerity and the truth itself. Recognize that others may not like what you have to say, but you have the right to say without having to justify it; Trust that it is good for your relationship to the other.

When you speak

- Breathe in deeply and rest in your body.

- remember how nice it is to be with people who are around Take care of you. This can help deepen your feeling for inner strength And the neuronal circuits of the sincerity "warming up".

- make your neck area, your eyes, your heart area softer. Try a Feeling of benevolence to activate compassion for other people.

- remember what you want to say. Breathe in again and start speak.

Try to stay in touch with your experience while you express yourself. At first, do not be guided by persuasion, justification, defense or problem solving.

For later, if at all, this is: be direct and to the point. When people really speak from the heart, they often say what needs to be said in a short time.

Come back to the essential point again and again, whatever he is, even if people try to change, distract or become reactive towards people. And allow other aspects or deeper layers of what is in your heart to come out while you are talking.

You don't have to know everything you will say before you start talking

If your counterpart is simply not ready to listen, then feel free to solve you. Maybe you didn't choose the time correctly and another time it would be better.

"Success" does not mean to get others to change, but that people begin to express themselves from the heart.

If it is reasonable, encourage your counterpart to speak from the heart. And when you ended, know whatever happened, you have done something good.