Bewusst-sein(s)kreis · Bewusst-seins-kreis · bewusstseinskreis · Trauer ·May 14, 2023

Blame

"I would only have ..." - I just didn't ... ". In mourning, grieving people can be found more often than you like to think.

"If I hadn't sent my husband to the baker this morning, then he would surely still live."

Often an accompanying counterpart attempts to put this emerging guilt into perspective with rational and factual arguments.

As a companion, regardless of whether it is professional or as a friend, friend, relative, well -known, you quickly see that you cannot penetrate into the emotional level of the mourners, with sentences like: "No, you can't do anything for it". Already while you speak such sentences, you can feel how quickly the energy of such sentences disappears and you somehow only get them out of your mouth.

Maybe because you know how to blame?

This guilt, which the grieving gives himself, comes from the heart, from the level of feelings and not from the rational left brain.

Certainly you got to know separation and grief in adulthood. Not only through the death of a loved one. Even if a love, a relationship ends.

The separation follows after great love.

One of the two says goodbye to the relationship - for whatever reason - and for the other who remains, the time of feeling his own impotence begins to never be able to live the broken relationship anymore and no longer be able to "kitten".

Two things can happen: you stay in this phase of fainting for a long time or you can reach the level of anger quite quickly. And then, according to all actionism that can produce anger, the time when the abandoned person is to blame. Either he is looking for her or partner.

Here, too, guilt has a certain effect. The ability to act comes back, I will remain capable of action and so I look back in my own system - in my body for myself. I am rehabilitated - order to get back into my system according to the chaos of fainting.

It may sound strange, but to be to blame also means to regain control of his life. I recognize a meaning in my actions, which might have been in the chaos of fainting and searched.

"I would only have ..." shows the full extent of despair, of uncertainty and chaos in the heart and in the feelings. The question of meaning, the "why", the longing for explanations that our mind needs so urgently to understand is evident here.

Sometimes life brings us learning experiences that we would not have chosen. Perhaps it is precisely these borderline experiences that also shows a person who accompanies a grieving person that everything can never be explained that you are constantly looking for explanation ... and in some cases there are no that brings quick consolation.

This makes a person for a grieving person who is looking for their own meaning in the Grand Sea of Life ... and that in turn gives a grieving consolation and simply makes us all.